The Bacon Butty Decoded

Being from England I was once again amused to read an article in the New York Times about the latest research being done at the University of Leeds which was just about as odd as the Beer Goggles research I read about last year. This time the researchers at the University were trying to discover how to make the perfect bacon sandwich. Now the bacon sandwich (or butty) is a staple in England (and known as the cure for any type of hangover), along with chip butties, crisp butties and sausage sarnies, none of which seem to have taken off in the United States, and for obvious health reasons, that's probably a good thing!

A disgusted reader of the Yorkshire Post (where the research had first been reported) even took the time to write in about the research carried out at the University, pointing out that with a few more minutes of research they would have realized that they were talking about a bacon sarnie, not a bacon butty - the difference between the two being that the butty has bread, butter and bacon, whereas the sarnie omits the butter.

I actually used to work with someone in England who every morning went to the office cafeteria and bought breakfast of either a sausage or bacon butty, and he would, in fact, give the server specific instructions on how the bacon should be cooked, so I guess this is a very important factor. Also, without fail, by the time he got back to his desk, he had dripped several drops of grease mixed with HP Sauce on to his tie from the oozing sandwich. Not a great way to start the day, but as he was the head of the Marketing Department he, therefore, got to meet clients all day long and talk about promoting the best aspects of their company, wearing this grease-spotted tie! So, once again, I am reminded that everything in the UK is not quite the same as it is in the US.

Some people thought that the report of this research was an April Fool's day joke, but apparently not. The research was commissioned by the Danish Bacon and Food Council to determine what degree of crispiness and crunchiness made the perfect sandwich. It researched four different types of cooking, three kinds of oil and four types of bacon, paired with different condiments. Tasters got to eat between four to six sandwiches a day for three to four days (help!).

So what should the perfect sandwich be? It turns out that the best bacon butties were made with crisply grilled, not-too-fat bacon between thick slices of white bread (it doesn't mention butter, so I guess this is really a sarnie). Texture and sound were found to be perhaps even more important than the taste and smell of bacon. The results were processed by the University and from these results a scientific formula was developed which finally ascertained that 0.4 newtons should be applied to crunch the sandwich, creating 0.5 decibels of noise. Mmmm......